Have I ever mentioned to you about this lady I know? No? Well, let me tell you about her then. She is… she is… amazing. Her smile is so radiant that it can melt a man’s heart, even one that is as icy as mine, her laugh so full of life that it can make a man’s spirit bloom like a wild flower in spring, even one that is as barren as mine, and her eyes so captivating that it can drown a man’s soul…

So as her eyes gaze into mine I can feel my soul slowly drown in them, and as her laugh resonates through my ears I can feel my spirit bloom, and as she smiles at me with that smile of hers… damn… you know, the one that can melt a man’s heart. Except her smile is now very slight and subtle, so subtle that it is almost imperceptible to the naked eye, a smile which is meant only for me and me alone, a smile which I do not have to share with the rest of the world. Damn… can you even start to imagine what a smile like that can do to a man’s heart, especially one that is as frozen as mine? Huh, of course you can’t. Me neither. All this is nothing more than a dream, a fantasy as unreal as elves and dragons and goblins and whatever the hell you can come up with. And dreams which forever remain unfulfilled will always haunt you.

So that is why I need to stop thinking about her. No, I don’t expect you to understand it. Hell, I don’t even understand it myself. I just know this is something I need to do. Doesn’t make sense, does it? But nothing about our feelings ever makes sense anyway…

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Filed under Musings, Rants

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